What started out as a walk to raise awareness of BCRT, and donations for Kens Tribute fund, has taken me on a journey, and one that likely never to end. That reminds me of phone call I received from Ken, late one night when he arrived in Bradford. ‘Mum. The drive up lead me to a place I never expected. I know Jesus is my saviour’.
Back to my walk. The morning I left Minehead to start walking the South West Coastal Path, the final destination was to be Poole in Dorset. That is still my aim, but God has taken me on detours. My physical ability soon became one hurdle, then vehicle problems and couple of other little hurdles presented themselves. These forced me to change my itinerary so I would not complete the walk by 1st August, which was my deadline. I wanted to reach Poole by then as I was taking ownership of Lady, (my horse) then, so knew that commitment would make it much harder to be away. August is so busy in Cornwall that logistically its also much harder (and more expensive) to access Coastal Path so I decided to give my knees a good rest start again this month.
This week I have walked short stretches and nowhere near as strenuous as lot of the coastal path, so it been upsetting to have my knees and now left hip, give me pain so soon. Once upon a time I would have pushed myself through the pain. I would have felt a failure if I didn’t complete the walk in the time I had set myself. Fortunately I now know that pressure on myself to succeed was down to pride. It was about what others might think. It was about what it would do to my self esteem if I ‘failed’. But my walk with Jesus- my spiritual journey, has shown me that I am nothing without Him and I am loved no matter what. Loved as I am.
The realisation that God has restored to me, my childhood love for horses and animals, plus blessed me with Cougs, Scarlet and Lady, has given me the ability to allow my heart to love again. My heart feels fit to burst when I see them run to me. After Ken going to be with the Lord I never expected I would be able to ‘feel’ anything again, let alone love. Yesterday I was singing along to Westlife CD while doing housework and felt good inside. No pain. (Ken loved singing and that CD was his favourite when having a bath 😊) Singing continued through the day as I walked Cougs and Scarlet, groomed Lady and for most of the evening. Another childhood passion. Singing in the school choir. My children may recall me singing around the house. Ok so my taste in music may not have been be music to their ears, but that’s ok.
I cannot give any idea of when/if I will complete all the coastal path, but I will still do parts as and when feel able. But it is not the end. This is now a journey which I would like to share with those who want to join me on it by continuing to read my blog. It will be mixed with all sorts of things, including developing my relationship with Lady which I want to do a video diary/blog of. It will be about my personal journey- my path through grief, through all sorts of experiences, but it will be to encourage others so I really hope you will follow me as I journey on.
Have blessed day everyone. Love you all.