Here I am again with day nothing like I planned or expected. You best grab a cuppa peeps as this could be a long one. Lol
Journeys. Paths. Walks in life. Just like the coastal path, they are made up of various terrain and how you walk them has to change, unless you want to make it exceptionally hard on yourself. Rugged, smooth, slippery, bumpy, enjoyable, painful, peaceful, noisy, overgrown and hard to see or wide open space with clear track ahead. But also very vital factor is the people you meet along the way. Some by chance, some by arrangement. Some stay with you for quite a while, and others not so long. Then there are those who remain with you in your heart. Those that you know are thinking of you even if not with you in person.
This morning, yet another hurdle prevented me from setting off on planned route today. I sat with the Lord and asked Him to please show me His desire for the walk. For what He wants me doing. ‘No more rugged paths for you’ He whispered again. (About the third or fourth time I have heard that since I started the walk). But this morning it’s clear that referring to my lifes path. So I put into action a good clear out of sentimental cards and bits I have kept for over 20 years. As I sorted through I felt more releasing of pain from deep within, and with each one thrown on the fire a little more confident I was hearing and obeying my Lord. (Well He isn’t just mine.) Anyway, that finished and with a new spring in my step I got washing out on the line and was pondering about the walk and all the obstacles that just keep coming. That lead to thinking about what I had hoped for when started the walk. There is no doubt the 4 weeks since I started, have done me personally far and beyond what I ever expected. Time alone with the Lord amongst His amazing creations, walking with Him and Ken- time with other bereaved parents and sharing special moments with them then yesterdays hilarious day with more special people, and sharing with you all has been life changing. All that is so good and I wouldn’t change a single thing and makes every step so worthwhile.
But its become more about me than Ken and BCRT and that saddened me. Its not meant to be about me. Yet now I feel Gods been equipping me, for long term commitment to raising awareness of BCRT and adding to Kens Tribute Fund.
In my big clear out this morning I came across my diary for 1994 and oh my goodness, reading some of that showed just how much amazing grace Gods shown me. For anyone who isn’t aware, I lived a very different life and was so far away from God until He got my attention in 2002. I wonder how many of us have heard the song Amazing Grace and thought what a lovely song but not understood just how true every word is. ‘He saved a wretch like me’ rings so true in my heart. I used to make fun of ‘Jesus Freaks’ and Bible Bashers. I used to say if anyone tried to talk about religion or God, ‘If there is a God He isn’t one I want to know thanks very much’. How wrong I was. I do not doubt for one moment that I would either be dead or an alcoholic by now if He hadn’t chosen me and got my attention.
Back to the walk. I had a tally up and worked out the personal cost involved in continuing the walk as planned. Then how much is going into Kens Fund. Then spent time reading scripture and faithful as always, God spoke to me through His word. Its not easy to put into words but I will try. You know that feeling when you have a ‘light bulb’ moment. Suddenly something makes sense, add to that a feeling of total peace about the revelation, and then things just slot into place. Well that’s what its like when God speaks to our hearts and we just know it’s the right thing to do. ( Don’t let your heart rule your head. How often has that been said? I reckon the enemy got in big time with that lie).
Ooops. I really am back to the walk now. I will complete walking the South West Coastal Path but not by the date planned. In fact I don’t know when because now I am certain I was not meant to put myself under pressure by giving a time limit. So many things have happened to delay me and having walked 201 miles and ascended just over 30,000 feet (just over height of Mount Everest), I am pleased with what I have achieved so far. I will keep walking and stick with dates and places have arranged company for. But I not putting a time limit on when I finish now. There are clearly days I am not meant to walk and days I am. I know God will make it all happen when the timing is right. That may be in a matter of weeks or maybe a matter of months. What I am sure of is His timing is always perfect. And I know He doesn’t want me to be a caterpillar and struggle anymore. 😊
Not the end. But could be a beginning 😊