That’s what I thought todays walk was going to be, but it didn’t quite turn out like that. Two beautiful bays which of course meant descending and ascending twice. As well as that, the rain and wind decided to come in as I was heading along a wide- open stretch. There was no shelter from the elements so for the first time in 20 days of walking, I had to put on my waterproofs. How thankful I was for trousers with sides that open so I didn’t need to take my boots off.
The coastline different yet again. I was asked by someone what’s been my favourite stretch so far. I said everytime I think it can’t be more dramatic or awe inspiring, another incredible view greets me. Today at times I had my head down and literally very closely watching every step, then times of feeling confident to lift my head a little. I could sense the resemblance to grief again. The wind came at me sideways and I had to stop a moment and work out the best way to move forward. Grief can do that. We can feel we are getting somewhere, and then in it comes and hits us sideways on. Another reason why BCRT is so dear to my heart. The support they have given me since I very first contacted them. Its by no means just about the research.
My knees have both been weaker today and I am aware I must be sensible. The thought of not continuing with the walk, I push from my mind. Not because I feel pressure in any way to complete it, but because I am loving it and the solitude while surrounded by breath taking views, is so inspiring and good for me. But I do not want to cause any permanent damage, so will make decision once have diagnosis.
My couple of weeks at the farm campsite without any tv, radio or wifi obviously meant I could not receive emails or messages through social networks etc. No news, no weather forecasts etc. It was so good for me and I have not put TV or radio on since and I am enjoying just walking and then writing. Over the years I have mentioned to some loved ones, the hardest part of living alone for so long, is that I became sure that no one would be interested in what I had to say. I don’t mean that in a ‘poor me’ way. Just the fact that with no one to share thoughts, dreams- life with I didn’t see why anyone would want to listen. The number of people who have said they are enjoying reading my blog, means I don’t feel alone in that respect anymore, which is a huge blessing so thank you to everyone who is sharing this walk with me.
I met a lady couple of weeks ago who is quite a mystery. No one knows where she comes from, her last name, if she has any family. In fact other than her first name, nothing is known about her. She turns up at various places roughly same time of year for a little while and then off she goes. It seems so strange, but I have started to wonder if something happened in her life that made her feel she wants to be off the grid/radar/data systems etc. I am starting to see why that would appeal to people, and for a while I would like that. But I am blessed to have so many loved ones that I wouldn’t want that all the time. Is that what holidays were like? When going away meant no one could contact you while you were away. So much harder now to switch off and relax.
Its very likely I wont walk tomorrow as although the pain is under control now, there was a definite weakness there today and it suddenly gave way couple of times, so wisdom needed. (Yes Dad. Wisdom kicking in at last lol).