I could write a book about first 24 hours as already quite a journey. Met some lovely people at breakfast then Homemade bread sandwich and lemon cake and banana made by B&B hostess who goes far beyond the extra mile for guests. Then her husband gave me a lift to sea front. :-) First mile or so was along seafront. .. calm sea and very quiet, then grassy gradual incline which lead to forest and steep climbs. It was dark. I started to see it was similar to grief. The calm when I was numb, then gradually I went into dark place that sometimes felt too awful. No energy or desire to get out into the light. I sat down just before I could see glimmers of sunlight through the trees. As the day unfolded I could relate so much of it to my journey with grief. So encouraging for I came out into the light and slowly but surely the sea mist cleared and most beautiful view's became more frequent. I actually did few miles extra than planned today so be less needed tomorrow. Good thing as my knee giving me some pain but only when descending. One very steep part I had to walk down sideways but again lessons learnt. What I feel good about is that
I am not under any pressure. It's to be enjoyable and no longer do I feel I have to carry on regardless. I have nothing to prove to anyone or myself. I know God loves me and so do many others, just the way I am. I know it may sound crazy to some of you, but I am talking to God a lot while I walk and He showing me things about myself that I wouldn't have listened to before. I remember my Mum telling me once that when I was a child she would always know if I had done something naughty because I would put myself to bed. I would punish myself. Today I realised I have lived much of my life 'punishing ' myself. I have changed a great deal thanks to God's grace and patience with me. A great example today was at a fork in the path where could take the rugged path or the official path. There was a time when I would have taken the rugged way. I had to do things the hard way. Not anymore. Don't get any medals for trying to prove myself to others or to myself. Makes for much more enjoyable 'walk ' . Have blessed evening everyone and thanks for reading.
